刮痧

这是我第二次看这部片子。
我记得当年看这片子的时候我还尚小，最喜欢梁家辉带着孩子开车和警察跑高速的那段。
那时候我以为这是喜剧片，这么多年过去，我才发觉它的温情。
我实在看到片名的时候才想起它的，时间隔了太久，我都记不得那些情节，只记得被踩坏的孙悟空和爬窗子的圣诞老人。
于是，我又一点一点地回忆起来。
老实说，我一开始并没有怎么觉得这片子很吸引人；甚至，我一度抱怨着谁谁谁的演技太差而谁谁谁表演不尽如人意。
但是我呢，总是因为一句话就会被轻而易举地打动。
简宁说“Because he's Chinese.”。然后镜头切到许大同扶着父亲小心翼翼上楼的画面。我始终觉得那是无比美好的画面，在昏黄的灯光下，青年和老年的身影交错在一起，被拉长的镜头舒缓而伤感，隐藏在平静之下的波涛汹涌在这瞬间都变得微不足道。
那就是父子。
所以之后我看到许大同背着给丹尼斯的孙悟空要爬上九楼的时候，这种情绪便更加地激烈了起来。
我不想说所谓的文化差异所谓的民族精神，我也不想分析那些站在楼下围观的路人都纷纷有着怎样的心理。
我是只看我想看到的东西。
那是无论怎样都不会被埋没的天经地义理所当然的感情，不要求回报，只有心甘情愿地付出。那是父母和孩子之间不可违背的羁绊。没有理由也不需要证据。
我记得爷爷写给许大同的信，说“吾儿勿念”。
普天下的父亲皆是如此。

版权归作者所有，任何形式转载请联系作者。
作者：KyleKKK（来自豆瓣）
来源：//book.douban.com/review/9121153/


很多人看这部电影的切入点都是中美文化差异，记得大学的美国文学老师也让我们就文化差异写影评交作业，但是我看这部电影的时候更多的是思考像主角这些急于融入欧美文化和社会的人的心理，电影讲述的是由梁家辉和蒋雯丽主演的北京夫妇许大同和简宁及儿子丹尼斯在美国追梦的生活状况，他们一家很幸福，过得也很体面，许大同开发了一款游戏同时也获得了奖项，在颁奖时，许大同说：“我的美国梦终于实现了，来到美国经过八年的努力，拼搏，终于实现了美国梦”。
这个时候，许大同是春风得意马蹄疾，他的高兴源自于他觉得自己终于融入了美国，成为了自己梦想中的成功人士。这个时候，注意台词你会发现，夫妻俩对话都尽量避免用中文，说中文好像成了不高大上的表现。这样的心理是个例吗？不是。从1840年起，中国人从天朝上国的美梦中惊醒，我们引以为傲的文化和传统屡屡受到冲击，在西方文明和工业文明的强烈攻势下，很多人产生了文化自卑感，这种自卑感一直持续到今天，甚至还会持续很多年。简单举个例子，现在稍微有点钱从小就把小孩送双语或者英语学校，看爸爸去哪儿里面，很多小朋友开口闭口都是英文。当然我不是批判小孩，我只是证明这种文化自卑感至今仍然影响着我们，改变着我们的生活。
前段时间，美国有个知名美妆品牌因为新出的粉底液供黑人选择的色号太少被各种攻击和抵制，每个美妆博主测评之前都要都要先批评一下这个品牌，如果没有批评则会被粉丝和网友攻击。讽刺的是，这个品牌的官方ins账号曾经公然发“ching chong”内涵中国人，“ching chong”是什么？Ching chong is a pejorative term sometimes employed by speakers of English to mock or play on the Chinese language, people of Chinese ancestry, or other East Asians who may be mistaken for Chinese that resided in Western countries！这么明显针对中国人华人的内容，但是却没有收到多少指责，甚至一些华人或中国人在这个品牌的账号下面代表那些抗议的中国人说sorry，指责他们太敏感太得理不饶人。为什么这些人会这样？因为他们的骨子里有深深的文化自卑感，因为他们对于自己民族的文化缺少认同，甚至认为自己民族生来是低人一等的，那些站起来speak up的人在他们眼里是无理取闹的，甚至是丢人的。
刮痧这部电影是2001年的，那个时候所谓成功的“华人”几乎是否定自己原来的文化的，十几年过去了，仍然有不少人还是这样的心理，1949年，tz说中国人民从此站起来了，但是要站得直站得正也许还要很多年，所幸的是，从1840年到现在，我们的民族从来不缺勇敢站出来的人。

       这学期观看了同学推荐的电影《刮痧》，在影片的最后听见丹尼斯可爱稚嫩的声音，他在随着父母的教授念着：“中国、北京、长城……”我顿时百感交集，是喜悦，是愤慨，还是无奈？不知道该用怎样的语言来表达看完这部电影后的感受。我认为，《刮痧》是一部非常优秀的电影作品，适合不同文化程度的观众观看，具有诸多的成功之处。影片中的很多细节都给我留下了十分深刻的印象，因此想在这里跟大家分享一下。
    电影《刮痧》是一部反映中美文化冲突的影片，故事发生在美国中部密西西比河畔的城市圣路易斯。来美已经八年的许大同，事业有成家庭幸福，他把在北京生活的老父亲接到美国同住。一天，五岁的儿子丹尼斯闹肚子发烧，他的爷爷由于刚从北京到美国，不懂得药品上的英文说明，便用中国民间流传已久的刮痧疗法给丹尼斯治病，没想到这竟成了丹尼斯一次意外事故后许大同虐待孩子的证据。在法庭上，面对对刮痧这一传统中医疗法一无所知的美国法官，面对一个又一个意想不到的证人和证词，许大同有口难辩。法庭宣布剥夺许大同的监护权，不准他与儿子见面。一连串的矛盾冲突更是接踵而来，一个原来幸福美好的家庭就这样转眼间变得支离破碎……
    电影中的很多细节是值得咀嚼和深思的。一开始，许大同就说：“我爱美国！这里是我的家！”八年的美国生活已经让他有自信说自己是美国人，并且和其他美国人一样自豪地称爱国。但无论他的英文说的如何字正腔圆，心里对美国梦、美国生活有多么的热爱和眷恋，他骨子里的中国传统文化所根植的意识形态和思维方式却怎么也改变不了，这使得他在官司中处处碰壁。在为他举办的颁奖仪式上，丹尼斯和朋友的儿子打架，他会为给朋友面子而当众体罚自己的孩子，并坚称“打是疼骂是爱”，老爷子指出他这是“当面教子背后教妻呀”。后来，因为刮痧的事情他被指控“虐待儿子”，听证会上对方律师请来他那位上司证明他是否真的动手打过儿子，这位上司不敢对法官撒谎只能回答“yes”，许大同据此认为上司出卖了他而提出辞职，上司认为他所谓的因为尊重上司而打自己的儿子是不可理喻的“中国逻辑”时，许大同用汉语脱口而出“道不同不相与谋”。听证会上对方请的另一个证人是当年给他儿子接产的护士，这位护士指出他在危急时刻曾经说过“保大人不管小孩”，他又一次用汉语脱口而出“留得青山在，不怕没柴烧”，可见他在说出满口纯正英语的时候，骨子里根深蒂固的还是“中国式”思维。也许这就是中国美籍华人（或称移民）的生存状态：已经脱离了生长自己身体和灵魂的祖国，飘洋过海努力奋斗，但要最终融入这个文化、政治、意识形态完全不同的社会却又是那么困难。以至于在美国，他们好像是“东方人”，虽有绿卡但仍与美国普通民众格格不入，黑头发、黄皮肤是他们的一个“异类”标签；而和中国人比起来，他们又是不同的，他们在家里也要说一口纯正的英语，他们口口声声说自己爱美国，他们努力退去身上的中国印。同时，美国社会也是矛盾的对待着他们的，它接受他们作为它的子民，作为国家的成员，但在社会实际生活中却无处不存在着对东方人、黄种人（矛头指向的就是华裔）却充满了歧视、轻蔑和误解。最可怕的是，当这种误解、歧视和轻蔑和美国号称“民主、法制、科学”的政治、法律结合起来，就会产生如电影《刮痧》中一样看似闹剧，却让人看得轻松不起来的事情。
    美国人不了解中国的刮痧，法律上也不承认其合法性，许大同在听证会上很激动地讲着“人体的七经八脉像无数小溪流向江河又奔向大海，气发自丹田又回到丹田……”，没有一个法官或是律师能够听懂，他们要求找医学权威来证明，可是这样的权威在美国根本就没有，于是案情的发展越来越让人揪心甚至愤慨：儿子丹尼斯只能被放在福利院，和被父母抛弃的孩子生活在一起，以至于他认为父母是要抛弃自己；许大同这边的辩护却一次次失利……从《刮痧》中，我们看美国的法制，会发现一个很奇怪的现象：在这个社会政治和法律系统里，每一个人都在努力维护这个系统的健康、透明而民主的运转，因此会有揭竿而起报警的医生和护士，有为孩子的健康和权利而舌战不休的律师，有以说实话为自己责任的证人；但当遇到了他们所不理解或不了解的事情的时候，当另一个遥远国度的传统文化和他们的common sense产生冲突的时候，这种西方社会科学、严谨、民主的法律却成为他们固守自己偏执的一种武器，就如那个律师在法庭上故意惹怒许大同、用刻意曲解《西游记》的手段误导法官以达到自己赢得官司的目的。
    影片在后半部分有不少感人的镜头，老爷子找到许大同的朋友——一个做版权辩护的律师约翰，连比划带画图告诉他不是许大同给丹尼尔刮的痧，而是他刮的。约翰问许大同的妻子——蒋雯丽扮演的简宁：“为什么他在法庭上要说是他做的？”简宁回答：“因为他是中国人。”这真是一个意味深长的答案！大同和他的父亲、大同和他的儿子、老爷子和孙子之间发生的故事，皆因为他们是中国人，在中国司空见惯的事情与道理，到了美国却说不清楚了，一个深爱儿子的父亲被指控“虐待孩子”，却没有办法证明自己的无辜。
    故事的转折是从律师约翰这里开始的。约翰自己找了一个中医去体验刮痧，这位中医一边用英语给他介绍刮痧的原理，一边在他后背上刮出了深深地痧痕，然后让他用镜子看自己的后背，问他是否感觉这是“虐待”，约翰终于明白了一切。圣诞节的夜晚，约翰去找原告方，告诉对方他有一个“两千年的理由”。而另一边，大同和妻子协商了分居，这样儿子好歹可以和妈妈在一起，而爸爸则不允许靠近。圣诞节的夜晚，这位痴情的父亲因为被保安拒绝回到自己家里而选择了爬窗户，他扮演成圣诞老人从一层爬到了自家九层的窗户上，整个过程有惊无险，一家人终于团聚，约翰和原本起诉他们的劳瑞娜一起来告诉他们：法官已经撤回了禁令。” 最终，西方的法制和东方的传统在经历了苦难和艰苦的磨合后达到了一种“和解”和“融合”，孩子回到了父母的身边，妻子和丈夫也不再需要痛苦的分离。
    这真的是一部优秀的电影，不同文化之间的差异与冲突是主题，表达了作为移民的中国人在一个民主、法制但又充满对别国文化、尤其是中国传统文化误解的美国如何生存，如何融入美国的社会和政治生活，天生的不适应和排异性又让这种融合变得异常困难。但故事的结局是好的，我想，这个结局除了安慰台下心里早就为许大同遭遇感慨的观众们之外，更多的是想重复一个被外交家、政治家们重复了千万遍的真理：“无论是怎样的文化沟壑，只要相互交流就能达到谅解。”
    《刮痧》中的刮痧，刮在孩子身上，刮在美国的法制身上，刮在美籍华人的心上，也刮在了我们每一位观众的心上。也许刮后印记难看，但温热微暖的感觉，却总是好的。“人之初，性本善”，正是因为人性中有共通之处，异质文化才有了从冲突到融合的可能。融合来源于真心的交流，希望在不久的将来，一个“大同”的世界真的会出现在我们面前！

   中国人主张“没有规矩，不成方圆”。
   
   中国人自称自己是礼仪之邦。

   其实礼仪，无外乎规矩，哪里没有？只是某些礼仪或者规矩，于一个民族来说，是天经地义的，在另一个民族眼里，却不可理喻了。

   人前教子背后教妻、打是亲骂是爱、家和万事兴。许大同带着这许多的中国规矩来到美国，寻求一种公平竞争。在竞争中，他成功了，如愿以偿，家庭幸福事业有成。他站在领奖台上对美国人说：我是你们中的一员，我爱美国，这里是我的家，我实现了美国梦。然而一转身，许大同却因为深夜里把儿子独自一个人留在家里，并且摔伤送进医院，又阴差阳错地被发现孩子背上爷爷刮痧留下的瘀痕而遭到美国儿童福利院起诉，怀疑他存在严重家庭暴力虐待儿童。在多次与儿童福利院的法庭辩论中，许大同与代表美国规矩的儿童福利院陷入僵局。他们各自上演自己的闹剧，一方拼命攻击，一方歇斯底里。他们根本无法交流。中国人最传统最民间的家庭治伤法“刮痧”，在国美人眼里简直不可思议。他们需要科学的解释和准确的证据。而许大同之前对孩子的武力管教替父受过爱妻弃胎，甚至根据中国神话英雄孙悟空设计出来的游戏，居然都成了呈堂证供。包括他最信任的朋友兼上司昆兰，都成了控方的证人。许大同觉得这帮洋鬼子才真是不可理喻。他扔下一句“道不同不想为谋”忿然辞职。为了能让儿子回家，妻子违心与他分居，父亲内疚回国。

    许大同陷入了绝望的境地。他表面暴跳如雷，固执已见，内心却在深深长叹：美国居，大不易啊。他痛哭，他呐喊。他忘了他已是“美国人中的一员”，也忘记了他的儿子只会说英语。他想回到愿意承认他的感情他的观念的中国。但是他是负罪在身，为了证明他的清白与正直，他必须留在美国等待宣叛。

    为了能在圣诞夜给儿子送礼物，许大同悲壮地从室外爬水管到9楼自家的窗外。然而正在他险些失足坠楼的时候，昆兰和福利院女主管带着法院的解禁令拯救了许大同。而这个结局是昆兰以自身作为实验品到华人街请中医为他刮痧，证实了确实是种家庭疗法而非暴力。
掌声，礼物，泪水，理解，感动，大团圆结局。

   尽管如此，整部电影的基调却是凝重、阴沉的。美国人是理性的，中国人是感性的。当我们无法让别人承认自己的时候，常常会以表达自己感情的方式试图打动别人。法律无外乎人情，美国人也并不一概那么机械那么无情，他们的法律也一样在乎人情，但最终还得事实说话。电影虽然为我们展现了这个事实，但内里的情绪却无时无处不在渲染一种“背井离乡”“寄人篱下”的悲怆与凄凉。这便是中国人极度自卑导致的极度自尊。

   《刮痧》绝对是一部值得一看的电影。倒不是说这电影有多么好，其实各方面表现平平，还有扮可怜博同情赚眼泪的嫌疑。But，这电影跨越了了海外华人在物质生存上的挣扎，进入一个文化差异层面的反思，给观众一个警示：大多数向往国外的人，并不在于那里优越的物质环境，而于那里优良的竞争环境。请注意，西方的人文环境，有时会公平得豪无人情。好在这个世界越来越兼容了，但是，兼容的程度与文明发展的速度是成正比。所以希望别人兼容我们的同时，我们也得学会兼容别人。我们的礼仪里，包括了“入乡随俗”这一条。

   When a member of one culture produces a message for consumption by a member of another culture, intercultural communication occurs, which is a kind of communication between people whose cultural perceptions and symbol systems are distinctive enough to alter the communication event. People are alike and different. We carry our culture with us wherever we go, and it influences how we respond to the people we meet.
   The leading man in the movie Gua Sha Treatment has been in America for eight years as a new immigrant. At the beginning of this movie, the man, Datong addressed a speech in American way to show his love to America and American dream. It seemed that he has gained great success in the American mainstream society. Yet it was just an exaggeration of his success when used to make the comparison with the ensuing events.
   Datong and his wife were born and raised in China, while their son was a Chinese American. They taught their son in American way and spoke English all the time. In the celebration, we can find Datong was praised and encouraged by his boss, who can be taken as a representative of the mainstream business. At the party, because of the quarrel between the two children, the son, Dennis was beaten by his father, which is just a very common action in Chinese culture. The grandfather of Dennis also admitted the way of education. Because the other boy is the son of his boss, Datong gave his son a lesson to show his respect to the boss, who can not understand it at all. The boss was shocked and accepted it temporarily. In American culture, individualism is the key point of American cultural pattern, even between the father and the son. But in Chinese cultural pattern, fathers have the right or responsibility to educate the sons, no matter in a legal way or his personal way. We tend to take it as family privacy, instead of family violence or child abuse. In traditional Chinese culture, family conflict is often solved between family members and it’s a shame to spread family conflict outside of the house, while in America, the law and regulations make the difference.
   There was a very plain role in this movie, Lao Huo, the man who acted terra-cotta warrior, which was a loser in pursuing American dream compared with Datong. There were only the daily life and death of Lao Huo in this movie, which reflected the pursuit and struggling of an ordinary person in America. The death of him made the father of Datong think a lot, which was a clue to tell us the old man will return to China finally. According to the two different results of pursuing American dream, two different result of cultural conflict revealed.
   After the Gua Sha treatment rendered by the grandfather, Datong and his wife accepted it because of their Chinese culture background and the previous experience. It’s natural for the couple to keep the accident of child abuse secret to their father. And Datong confessed it was he who gave the treatment to the child, although his wife showed a little reluctance and hesitance. Actually his father gave the Gua Sha treatment to the son. There was an obvious culture difference in the episode. Chinese people behave on the basis of experience, while American act with the reference to the specific evidence. It’s praiseworthy for Datong to be a scapegoat for his father. In Chinese traditional culture, the law is important but sometimes affection counts. It’s dutiful and responsible to reduce the pains of parents both in China and America. If Datong admitted his father gave the treatment to the child and his to father will be accused by the court. Although it’s lawful, it’s unfilial in Chinese culture, which is an unforgivable fault.
Chinese view on interpersonal relationship network has been illustrated richly in this movie. When Datong needed a lawyer to help him, he sought help of his friend, who is actually not a lawyer of family law, but copyright law. Because of the lack of legal knowledge and the good relationship between them, Datong insisted on his help. Before the hearing commenced, Datong’s wife asked why the court was not the same as she saw before on TV. The tiny episode accounted for the difference between the judicial systems. Because Datong was in trouble, he turned to his friend for help, regardless of his professional field. Chinese weak legal consciousness was also criticized and satirized in this movie and Datong’s family became victims of culture shock.
   Although Gua Sha treatment is common and effective in China, we never tried to understand how it worked. We learned our culture from folk tales, mass media, and education. Culture is transmitted from generation to generation, so we never question the therapy. Everyone is a product of his own culture, it’s undoubted for American to have nothing idea about the treatment. But we can also find strong prejudice and ethnocentrism of America in the response to the case.
   The trial of this child abuse case could be regarded as the climax of this film. Datong’s family fights against the charge, which is an intense conflict between the Chinese and American cultures. Traditional medical treatment cannot be proved and admitted. They have no interest in proving why Gua Sha treatment is advisable but tried to prove how much the couple loves their son. The judgment and condemnation are just based on the scratch, the judge never showed a fair and sensible attitude to the medical treatment. Chinese classical book Journey to the West is considered from the negative perspective, even though the accuser knew it was wrong. The malicious and deliberated objection described American competition and materialism. The aim of the dispute is just for the victory in the court, regardless of the wicked ways. The prejudice and discrimination are two apparent obstacles in the intercultural communication. Moreover, the ethnocentrism of America was also perceivable. The judge and the accuser never showed justice to Datong’s rebuttal. Because of the ignorance of the treatment, they were very indifferent and pride to Datong’s statement. This uncooperative attitude made this event worse. It seems all of them are well-educated and civilized, but the communication problems repeatedly arose. Both of the parties held respective strong cultural background and different values, which have implemented enormous impact.
   Additionally, the stereotyping to Chinese or easterners are mentionable. When Datong said he hit his son to save his boss’ face, to make him feel better. The boss felt it was twisted and absurd. When Datong said it was a common sense to save his wife rather than the child, the female accuser said, your Orientals are barbarian. Stereotypes were a means of organizing our images into fixed and simple categories that we use to stand for the entire collection of people. In most distances, stereotypes are the products of limited, lazy, and misguided perceptions. In the movie, some Americans never delete their confirmation bias and tend to put Chinese to shame. Then, the failure in intercultural communication occurs.
   According to Hall’s high-context and low-context communication, the Asian mode of communication is often indirect and implicit, whereas western communication tends to be direct and explicit-that is, everything needs to be stated. Westerners are more prone to making very explicit statements and have little capability with nonverbal forms of expression. High-context cultures tend to be more aware of their surroundings and their environment and do not rely on verbal communication as their main information channel. According to the analysis of the movie, we can find the difference between high-context and low-context communication. At the beginning, Datong’s wife disliked the grandfather’s smoking, but she said nothing directly and opened the window. Certainly the grandfather understood it easily. On the contrary, Americans often get permission first. And if they want to show the objection, they spoke it out. But it’s not impolite and respectful to ask the elder not to do something. When Chinese show their anger, it is also implicit. Datong was very angry to his boss, because he has thought his boss would help him on this issue. Datong hoped his boss to support him, but the fact that the boss told everything straightforward, which was unfavorable to Datong. In Datong’s view, they were friends and it’s responsible for the boss to help him and he took the frankness of his boss as a kind of betrayal. He was unwilling to work there any more and planned to quit that job after no discussion with his boss. It’s normal to a Chinese man to show his anger and express their spilt relationship. From the perspective of the American, it has nothing to do with their friendship. It’s reasonable and lawful to tell the judge all the truth. They don’t show personal emotions in the business and persuaded Datong to work, which is a way to show his kindness and concern.
The ending of this movie is happy and warm. The boss understood Gua Sha treatment and Datong’s family gained reunion on the important western festival. No matter in East or West, family reunion and family love are enjoyable and happy. In the end, the grandfather educated and taught his son again. It was warm and moving because we can feel the father’s love; no matter he expressed his love explicitly or implicitly. The grandfather left America because he found it was troublesome and upset for a person like him to live in the Western culture. It was a failure for an elderly like him in intercultural communication, and it was a success for the young generation in America.
   The last episode in the movie was the boy’s learning mandarin, which was a strong contrast to the beginning of the movie, where the boy was educated to speak English to prepare for the competition of the future. No culture is more advanced than others and cultural diversity should be advocated and protected. Human brain is an open system and supposed to appreciate the diversity.
Finally, the name of the leading man in this movie, “Datong”, is also a Chinese Confucian classical term, which means great harmony. Obviously, the name was created with the implied meaning. “Datong” society is the perfect and ideal society in Confucianism, which conveyed the hope and wish of the movie producers. Although there are so many different countries, cultures, systems, races, etc, it’s a pursuit to build such kind of harmonious society without discrimination, prejudice, conflict, war…

由《刮痧》想到的中国和欧美文化的差异：
第一、 孩子是谁的?国家的，还是家族的？显然，美国认为孩子是国家的，而中国认为是家族的。这也是为什么当大同把孩子自己撂在家里的时候，他很清楚，在美国的那种环境下，他已经触犯了当地的法律，对比前几天的小月月事件，当人们反思路人的冷漠的时候，有些人也开始对准了小月月父母的监管不力，应该说是个不小的进步。为什么中国认为孩子是家族的呢？我觉得这和中国两千多年的宗族制度是有关的，中国是一个传统的宗族制国家，联系国家的纽带是一个个的宗族，而父系氏族下姓氏的关联就使得孩子就是家族的私有财产。而美国，是相信天赋人权的，孩子，首先是一个自然人，然后才是你们家族的孩子，这样的话，孩子就有他的各项权利，任何人不得侵犯，包括孩子的父母，如果受到侵犯，那么任何人，必将受到法律的严惩！孩子是国家的未来，这也是为什么美国的黄色校车在道路上有着如此大的特权，一切以孩为第一。
第二、 父母有没有体罚孩子的权利？美国，没有，或者说，有管教的权利，但是不能虐待，或者打孩子。而，中国，父母是有打骂孩子的权利的，就如，大同的父亲说的，打是亲，骂是爱，不打不骂不成材，当丹丹说，那我打保罗就是我爱他了，爷爷的解释就说不通了。那为什么美国人认为不可以打孩子，而中国人确认为打骂孩子是理所应当，棍棒下出孝子呢？美国的话，我想还是和他们的自由人权是分不开的，当然，也可以试着从宗教的角度来解释下，中国，还是上面说的，是一个传统的宗族制的熟人社会，从三纲五常到养不教父之过，再到古代的犯罪连坐制度，都大大赋予了家长来管教或者用暴力的方式来管理家族的权利，在古代，子女因为犯了族规，被父母给处以极刑的比比皆是。并且，中国人认为孩子是自己血脉的延续，在影片中，大同也提及到了，那么既然是自己血脉延续的话，就会是自己生命的一部分，那么我对我自己来进行暴力的管教的话，我自己也会心疼，这是我自己的事情，用不着别人来指手画脚。当然，这有延伸出一个问题，就是自己有结束自己生命或者自虐的权利吗？这就涉及到如安乐死之类的另一个哲学问题了。
第三、 法大，还是理大？在美国，法大，虽然各个州有着各种稀奇古怪的法律，而在当下的中国，或者，在电影中那个时代的中国人来说，是理要大一些的。法大，就是一切以法律为标准，以制度为规范，此种情况是，是把人作为恶的来假设的，人是不可靠的，只有制度可靠，只有证据可靠，所以当大同慷慨陈词，都快要把法官给感动了，但是当对大同的不利证据出现时，法官还是站着证据这方面。而儿童监护中心的女负责人，虽然感觉他的下属做的不对，有引导激怒大同咆哮公堂的行为，但是从证据上找不到瑕疵，虽然她知道，在此事情上，是没有赢家的，从内心也深深的同情孩子，但是她能做的也只是沉默，而到最后有了新的有力证据的时候，她就在第一时间去找法官要求翻案。而中国则偏重于情理的多一些，比如说，我们去医院看病，去政府部门办事，会首先想到托人找关系，而流程或者规章制度怎看的不是那么重了，而上访或者期待青天大老爷的出现，则更是民族的悲哀，不是寄希望于良好的制度而是寄希望于某个人的出现，人非圣贤孰能无过。也正是因为中国人情的作用，使得GUANXI一词出现在英文中，作为外国人研究中国的舶来词。当然，这是不是说，在美国就完全不讲人情呢，我想不是的，个人老是认为美国的陪审团制度是最具人情味的，因为它是找了不同的社会人群来充当社会陪审员，多方的博弈来促使法律的公正。或者说白了，中国的人情世故更倾向于一种隐晦的潜规则，不可说，而美国的法律，则更是倾向于一种公开的讨论。各方权利的制衡使得法律变得更公开公正透明。