军官与男孩

《For a lost soldier》/《军官与男孩》, 根据荷兰著名舞蹈家鲁迪·方丹斯的自传小说改编。影片以二战为背景，却丝毫不沾染战火的气息。荷兰导演Roeland Kerbosch用欧式独特的慢镜头长镜头将影片以一种慵懒的、散漫的调调向前推进，像荷兰常年缓缓旋转的风车，漫不经心，却将什么轻轻划破，毫无防备的，那些散乱的意象便柔柔的扩散进心底。

Jeep
1945年5月的某一天，那天正是加拿大军队赶走德国纳粹，解放荷兰的日子。军用吉普载着英雄的士兵来到这座荷兰的小渔村，那个年轻帅气的军官也是其中一名，他戴着墨镜，眼神却定格在了男孩灿烂的笑脸上，那是怎样天使般的笑颜，让所有万物都失了颜色。那个男孩永远不会知道，是这一刻，他的笑容打动了那个影响了他一生的英雄般的男人。
隔着欢呼的人群，他站在吉普车上望着另一辆吉普车上的他，世界仿佛只剩下这凝望，命运的风车开始缓缓的旋转。
后来，他开着吉普，耍着把妹的烂俗手段，追在男孩回家的路上。男孩向前他向前，男孩转身他跟着后退，结果退过了头，看到男孩狡黠的笑，然后转身继续向前。这样追逐的游戏，像极了恋人间状似无意却小心翼翼的试探与摸索。男孩上了车，他告诉男孩他叫Walt,男孩听不懂英语，但知道这是他的名字，男孩便告诉他，Jeroen是他的名字。
没有冲突，没有丝毫扭捏，一切就这么顺其自然却又觉得是天经地义。
再后来他几乎每天开着吉普载着他在路上行驶，甚至教他开吉普，虽然最后差点撞上他的队友。彼此就是这么自然而然的信任，将生命的方向盘交付与你，你又教会我自己把握，在以后没有你的岁月里，让我渐渐长成像你一样的男子汉，乐观、心胸宽阔、有责任有担当以及学会怎样去爱。

Chocolate
在最初的试探时期，Walt就不断的像Jeroen抛出巧克力，是爱的暗示，看似漫不经心其实却在意的很。你可不能不要，这可是我对你满腔的爱。到了后来，变成甜蜜的习惯，你一半我一半。因为语言的隔阂，这似乎成了Walt对Jerorn传递爱意的特有方式，也或许巧克力让Walt觉得自己像个男孩，缩短了他们年龄上的差距。
我们分吃巧克力，你喂我吃下那一半，一脸的幸福与宠溺。
我们含着巧克力接吻，疯狂热烈，弄花彼此的脸。
我们在游戏的最后，明明说好是说“OK”的，但都不约而同的喊出“chocolate”。
就是这样像巧克力般浓得化不开的甜蜜爱意，男孩啊，你能明白吗？你弱弱的身躯能否承受这般的深情？
Walt搂着Jerorn轻轻的哼唱着“baby~baby~”，Jerorn问Walt“You know ‘baby’？”Walt看着Jerorn笑得一脸温柔“No，I just know you are my baby.”
是的，Jerorn听不懂Walt的语言，但那又怎样？我就是要向我的爱人一遍一遍诉说着我的爱意，我要亲吻着他的耳朵，告诉他：“I love you ,you are my prince,I love you.”我知道他一定能明白，因为我的爱已经满溢，像巧克力融化在他的心间。
那是最最甜蜜的巧克力，而我们像贪恋甜食的孩童，一遍一遍的品尝，直到甜腻的发苦。

Dance&Gun
      影片一开头是已经中年的成为著名舞蹈家的Jerorn在为他的舞蹈演员编排一出关于1945年荷兰解放的舞蹈剧，于是记忆的线就从这点扩散蔓延开去。
说起Walt与Jerorn的相遇，应该从那场舞蹈开始，那是整部影片的转折点，亦可以说是Jerorn人生的转折点。舞会散场，热闹的气氛被宁静安适所取代，一束淡淡的蓝光下，Walt拉着Jerorn在此刻只属于他们的舞台上一圈一圈的旋转。在这旋转中，Jerorn似乎找到了那原本应该属于这个他年纪的游戏与欢乐，他肆无忌惮的笑着，任Walt一次又一次的将他抛向半空而后又紧紧接住，一种有力的安全感刹那充斥他的全身。
而Jerorn之所以后来成为一名舞蹈家，很大程度是受到Walt的影响。
那天Jerorn坐在Walt的床上玩弄着他的步枪，Walt看着他的手，对他说他的手很漂亮，应该成为一名艺术家，Walt还絮絮的说了很多，关于他，关于他。Jerorn许是听不太懂有些烦了，对他说了一句“shut up”，以孩子般天真的认为告诉他，我们会永远在一起的，不是吗？Walt愣了一下，苦涩的点头，眼睛里很复杂，嘴角却漾出了笑容。
小孩子从不考虑长久的问题，或许晚一点知道真相就会幸福的比较久一点。只是我还来不及和你道别，还没学会在茫茫人海中寻找到你的身影，你就从我的世界消失了。我的爱人，我已经成为你想象的模样，我多么希望你能看见。
舞蹈和枪，还意味着“解放”。第一次的那场见面舞，不仅解放了Jerorn的肢体，同样的也解放了他的心。所以，在老师要求他们以“解放”为题写一篇作文时，Jerorn脑海里浮现的就是那次与Walt的共舞。而枪则是更为有力而直接的，Walt用枪击碎了河边竖立的警示牌，坦然的牵引着Jerorn走向“异地”，第一次向Jerorn倾吐出他的爱慕之心。这就是他们，冲破了种族、年龄与性别，无畏无惧，他们的爱是跨越禁地的爱。
 
For a lost soldier，是真的失去了吗？如此重要的一个人，明明还坚定的相信能永远在一起的人，明明昨天还在一起喂我巧克力亲吻着我的人，为什么就在这天清晨消失了？我骑着单车疯狂的驶过田园、原野、树林，去每一个我们曾经到过的角落苦苦追寻你的影子，我对着清凌凌的大海呼唤你的名字“Walt”，潮水涌动，沉默的回答就像你未留只言片语的离别。我们的合照因为我的粗心而曝光，唯一留下的你的照片也因为雨水化成一团纸糊。那么，关于你，我还有什么？
其实有啊，用军队的线缝制好的扣子，不小心落在篱笆上的墨镜，挂在稻草人身上的牌子。以及，留在手上永久的伤痕，第一次跳舞第一次吃巧克力第一次爱的记忆，还有最终因着那无心的一句话而选择舞蹈作为职业的人生。

对于Jerorn来说这是一次成长的洗礼，看似懵懂，却仿佛浸染了一整条的人生轨迹。有人曾说过，如果有一个人曾在生命里出现过，那么他就永远不会消失，即使后来不见了，你的生命却也因着这个人的出现，悄悄地向他的方向，偏离了一厘米，又一厘米……My solaier,never lost。

有一点类似《情人》。
却本质不同。

杜拉斯的情人，从开场始，将每一个看官坚决的拖入深深地暗伤与绝望之中。
爱的撕裂。爱的伤痕。爱的痛。以及无望。
轻描淡写的，述说着灵魂中最痛的烙印。
深深地刻骨的冷。

而《军官与男孩》这部片子，则相去甚远。
全片透着暖暖的光，在冬季的午后看来格外的有感觉。
即使讲述的，是一个小男孩跟一个军官的，爱情。

是怎么开始的呢？男孩开始爱上军官?
是在欢迎舞会上看到军官风趣的腹语表演吗？
还是在喝下第一口可口可乐之后，抬头发现与女生共舞的军官同样回望的眼神？
是和军官单独在热闹舞会的室外共舞吗？
还是独自走在小路上的时候，被军官的吉普车追上。倒退。倒退。前进。前进。男孩终于笑着跳上车，口里立刻被军官塞了颗巧克力。的时候呢？
无从开始追证。
唯一清楚的是，这个十二岁的小男孩和这个二十多岁的军官。爱了。

暖暖的午后，两个人赤裸相拥。
男孩悄悄地跳下了床，拉开军官的抽屉，找到一张照片，小心的塞到上衣口袋里。
军官醒来，望着男孩，笑着，往他口里又塞了颗巧克力。然后，接吻。
军官告诉身上的那个弱弱小小的男孩，I love you.You are my baby. I love you.
讲荷兰语的男孩，听得懂军官的意思吗？

随着驻军的撤离，两人分别的日子即将来临。
一无所知的男孩，坐在军官的床上，玩弄着他的枪。
军官顾左右而言他的，絮絮的说了很多话。
男孩想是听烦了，想是听不懂。不耐烦地说了shut up.军官没介意，依旧絮絮的在说，关于他，关于他。

那晚军官送男孩回家，对他说自己将要走了。
男孩没听懂。以为是跟以往一样的分别。是第二天依然可以见到的分别。
男孩头也不回的进了家门，没察觉身后军官的眼神。注视，深深地。

知道第二天，男孩在听到同伴中的议论，方恍然醒悟。
急急的骑上了车子跑到营地，人去楼空。
跑到常和军官玩的海边，对着远远的船只大声的呼喊军官的名字。
甚至没有回音。
垂头丧气回到家的男孩，赫然发现门前晾着自己装着军官照片的衬衫。冲上去掏口袋，只剩下一小团纸浆。
男孩终于忍不住，哭了，大叫着，这是我唯一的照片……

这个片子很欧洲，荷兰导演Roeland Kerbosch继续发扬了欧洲导演们慢镜头长镜头的特点，将整个片子的节奏拖得很慢，懒懒的，不慌不忙。满是荷兰乡间的气息。还有淳朴厚道的村民们。虽然背景是在二战时期，却丝毫没有战火的气息。或许，他是认为，在爱情面前，其他的一切都可以忽略不计了吧？

看完这个片子，其实我是有一些些怀疑的。
男孩跟军官，真的是爱情吗？还是处于一种相依为命的本能？
逃难而离开阿姆斯特丹的男孩，为着父母的骄傲而参军的军官。纵使语言不同。相识相认是一种本能吗？

又何必去怀疑。即使不是爱情又如何呢？
带着男孩玩的军官，细心的帮男孩钉了扣子的军官，教会男孩开车的军官，带着男孩打开舞蹈大门的军官，以及，偷偷藏起军官照片的男孩，在教堂里用眼睛追随者军官的男孩，坐在军官身边手舞足蹈的男孩，冒雨去取军官留下的牌子而被雷打到手的男孩，后来成为舞蹈家的男孩。
是一段真实而纯洁的感情啊~即使不知道是否能定义为爱情啊……

如此重要一个人，就在这天早上突然消失了呵。甚至未及留下只言片语。
唯一的一张照片成了泥浆。合照的胶卷由于男孩的无知而暴了光。
还剩下些什么？

其实有呵。
用军队的线帮男孩缝制好的扣子，军官笑指着对男孩说这就是我的那个稻草人，不小心落在男孩家篱笆上的墨镜，挂在稻草人身上的牌子。以及，留在男孩手上永久的伤痕，第一次喝可乐第一次跳舞第一次爱的记忆，还有最终因着军官无心的一句话而选择舞蹈作为职业的人生。

这个人曾经出现过。那么他就永远不会消失。
即使后来不见了。你的生命却也因着这个人的出现，悄悄地向他的方向，偏离了一厘米，又一厘米……
C'est la vie.
 
片子的最后，三十年后，籍由新的技术，终于将那曝光的胶卷冲出来两张照片。
一张，是男孩和军官笑指说是自己的那个稻草人的合影。
一张，是军官的军牌。
上面写着，Walt,1945.

看过了电影，特别是那么多温情的影评。我急迫的想要知道，军官最后的结局。在网上找到了英文版本的原著，for a lost soldier，顿时所有关于这部电影的美好，荡然无存。
这是我引用的书评，和我的看法基本相同，男孩是被rape了，至少是molested，而军官，则是暴力和冷漠，绝不是电影中的美好。
Jeroen is 12 and a long way from home. Because of the Nazi occupation of Amsterdam, Jeroen’s mother has sent him to a remote area of the country to await liberation. Alone, frightened, and feeling less than welcome by his hosts, Jeroen explores the countryside, and after a while begins to make friends. Jan, his hosts’ older son, stirs emotions in Jeroen that he is unable to explain. He enjoys watching the older boy swim and play, but becomes frightened when Jan wants to show him how he has matured lately.
Just as Jeroen is starting to fit-in, a most remarkable event occurs. Allied forces roll into town and the Germans are on the run. Everyone, including Jeroen, is fascinated by the soldiers and crowd around to get a better look. One of the soldiers, however, has his eye on Jeroen. Walt attempts to develop a friendship with young Jeroen, but the boy is very frightened. Through a series of encounters, the two become tentative friends. Each time they meet, Walt takes their relationship a little further, until finally on one such meeting, he has sex with Jeroen. Jeroen, a little squeamish to begin with, is terrified.

Eventually, the relationship becomes a full-fledged affair, with Walt and Jeroen meeting frequently for sex. Each of the encounters, though, is physically and emotionally painful for Jeroen. Walt is abusive in his treatment of the young boy. Nevertheless, Jeroen becomes infatuated with the soldier and is shocked one morning to find that the army has pulled-out of the little town and disappeared. Emotionally devastated, Jeroen can not understand why Walt left without saying anything. His only proof of the relationship is emotional and physical scares, and a small photograph of the young soldier.

Upon returning to Amsterdam, Jeroen searches in vain for Walt, but with no success. Once there, he begins the process of healing but he never forgets Walt. A

This is a autobiography of Rudi Van Dantzig’s early life. Rudi was a dancer in Europe and became quite popular. He looks back at this part of his life partly with a longing and partly with relief.
 
My Notes

Clearly this book is not for everyone. Young Jeroen is such a moving character that reading the story, and understanding his emotional state at the time, becomes draining. Of course, Jeroen was sexually molested, but he looks back at the events, not with hatred or spite, but with tenderness. I found it easy to understand his motivations, emotions, and actions during those years, but I find it difficult to understand his treatment of these events now, as an adult.
If you have seen the film, you will be shocked at the character of Walt in the book. In the film, the relationship is touching and moving despite the eight or nine years age difference. There is a loving relationship nevertheless. In the book, Walt is clearly a predator and Jeroen is his victim. I highly recommend reading this book, but I warn you it will get to you and you will want to reach through the pages and strangle Walt.
（http://www.oocities.org/soho/den/8979/vandantzig_rudi.html）
看书吧，会有个不同的视角。
再给大家发个原著作者，也就是小男孩原型的背景故事吧，我想说，他过得应该很幸福。现实生活中，他事业有成，是荷兰最著名、也是贡献卓著的编舞家。他也真的是同志，有着一个life partner，也是志同道合舞蹈界人士。现在原型人物的小男孩，已经在2012年过世，我很庆幸，他，真正存在过，活过。
Rudi van Dantzig
Rudi van Dantzig, the choreographer, who has died aged 78, was a pivotal figure in the rise to world renown of Dutch ballet in the past half century.
Van Dantzig described himself as “a sort of bastard between classical ballet and modern”, and his works could be more interesting for their intentions than their results. However, his boldness in evoking the anguished isolation of a homosexual boy in a ballet in 1965 won him a global profile and the key support of Rudolf Nureyev. This led to commissions from the Royal Ballet and other leading international companies.
His work captured the mood of the 1960s and became a template for modern ballet that offered a powerful European alternative to the abstract modernists of New York dance. Today, the assumption that the Dutch led mainland Europe in ballet and dance is largely due to van Dantzig.
Rudi van Dantzig was born in Amsterdam on August 4 1933 . It was not until he saw The Red Shoes on its release in 1948 that he knew his vocation (he later claimed to have watched the film nearly 50 times). He started dance lessons at 16, and approached Sonia Gaskell, a Lithuanian-Dutch dancer who was working to generate a Dutch ballet tradition by establishing professional companies and schools.
In 1952, because she was short of boys, she took the raw 18-year old into Ballet Recital, a company from which she would establish the Dutch National Ballet within a decade. With Gaskell’s encouragement, in 1955 van Dantzig choreographed the first of his 51 ballets, Night Island, using music by Debussy .
As a homosexual with an active political sensibility (both his parents were dedicated socialists), he felt acutely the intolerance of the times, and this became a major theme in his ballets and writings.（作为一名拥有政治敏感性的同志（他的妇女都是坚定的社会主义者），他认识到这个时代的狭隘和缺乏宽容，这成为他编舞和写作的主题之一。）
In 1965 he made his breakthrough with Monument for a Dead Boy, showing an adolescent destroyed by his unacceptable sexuality. It was inspired by the brief life of the influential Dutch homosexual poet Hans Lodeizen. The work, set to experimental electronic music by Jan Boerman, was so powerful that Nureyev asked to perform it with Dutch National Ballet.
Nureyev, who was then feeling underappreciated at the Royal Ballet, was searching to cross over into a modern idiom, but he had considerable difficulty understanding van Dantzig’s modern movement and convoluted narrative. At the same time, he found the choreographer’s blunt amiability refreshing compared with the sycophancy which he usually encountered, and he mastered the idiom sufficiently to impress the Dutch.
The Royal Ballet’s director, the classical choreographer Sir Frederick Ashton, then commissioned van Dantzig to create The Ropes of Time for Nureyev and Monica Mason (the Royal Ballet’s present director). The piece had Nureyev as an existential traveller writhing in pas de deux with Death and Life (Mason and Diana Vere). Originally the Life figure was intended to be the Royal Ballet’s star ballerina Antoinette Sibley, but she fell into depression as she tried to master the different plastique and withdrew.
Though the work received ovations from Nureyev’s adoring public on its premiere in 1970, it was found too self-consciously tortured by critics ; and on the company’s subsequent tour to the United States it was panned. Van Dantzig himself was unhappy with Nureyev’s attempts at his choreographic style, saying: “It is like somebody who speaks a different language and you can always hear the mother tongue underneath.” But he still made two further ballets for Nureyev in the late 1970s, Blown in a Gentle Wind and About a Dark House — the second a psychosexual melodrama in which Nureyev intruded unwisely upon a dinner party and was stripped by the guests.
In 1969 van Dantzig had succeeded Gaskell as artistic director of the Dutch National Ballet, first as co-director, then, from 1971, as sole director. For the next 20 years he refined the large and somewhat chaotic mission of the DNB by focusing on 20th-century classicists, primarily George Balanchine and Frederick Ashton, and also on new contemporary ballets created by himself, Hans van Manen and Toer van Schayk .
This trio made The Netherlands a new powerhouse of modern ballet choreography to the European taste, but there was no great enthusiasm for it in Britain. Attempts to open British eyes to the much-talked-about Dutch dawn by both Ashton and his successor, Kenneth MacMillan, fell flat, largely because the British preferred MacMillan and Ashton.
For many of his ballets, van Dantzig collaborated with van Schayk, an outstanding dancer and competent designer, who was also his partner.（很多的芭蕾舞作品，他都是和van Schayk合作完成的。后者是一名杰出的舞者、设计师，也是前者的生活伴侣） Though he created modern versions of Romeo and Juliet (1967) and Swan Lake (1988), van Dantzig was particularly interested in one-act creations to a wide range of 20th-century composers, among them Richard Strauss for Four Last Songs (1977); Debussy for Night Island (1955); Schoenberg for Gesang der Jünglinge (1977); and Webern for Moments (1988) .
Retiring as director in 1991 after 20 years, van Dantzig continued as the company’s resident choreographer for a further three years, finally bowing out with his 50th creation in 1994 (though he returned to Dutch National Ballet in 2002 to create Lommer). He was succeeded as director at the DNB by the former Royal Ballet star Wayne Eagling, now English National Ballet’s director.
An accomplished writer, van Dantzig was acclaimed for his debut novel To a Lost Soldier (1986), which dealt with his awakening to his homosexuality as a child evacuated in the war, and a sexual relationship with a passing soldier. In 1993 it was made into a film in Holland, and it was translated into English in 1996. He also wrote books about Nureyev (Remembering Nureyev: the Trail of a Comet), and the homosexual Dutch artist and anti-Nazi resistance fighter Willem Arondéus.
Rudi van Dantzig, born August 4 1933, died January 19 2012